FATHERS
Reading from the NIV:
1 John 2:13 I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning.
I write to you, young men, because you have overcome
the evil one.
I write to you, dear children, because you have known
the Father.
John differentiates between 3 types of Christians:
Children
Young men
Fathers
What is the difference?
CHILD, YOUNG MAN, FATHER
Children – Need someone to look after them.
Young men – are able to look after themselves.
Fathers – not only look after themselves, but look after others.
“Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers - and fathering is a very important stage in their development.” - David M. Gottesman
Let’s look at some of the characteristics of a godly father.
A father loves his children. It’s been said, “A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” So while you may have less money as a father, you’ll have more important things in it’s place.
You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. - William D. Tammeus
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they’re already asleep. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
LOVE
Part of demonstrating love is investing time with your children:
Kids spell love T-I-M-E. - John Crudele
Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson
My father used to play
with my brother and me in
the yard. Mother would
come out and say, “You’re
tearing up the grass.”
“We’re not raising grass,”
Dad would reply.
“We’re raising boys.”
- Harmon Killebrew
LOVE
1 Thess 2:11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his
kingdom and
glory.
Psalm 103:13 As
a father has
compassion on
his children, so
the LORD has
compassion on
those who fear
him;
ENCOURAGES
Luke 11:11 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?”
“A father is a banker...
provided by nature.”
- French Proverb
PROVIDE
Deut 1:29 Then I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. 30 The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the
way you went until you reached this place.”
PROTECT
One father is more than a hundred Schoolmasters. -George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs
“My father said, ‘Politics asks the question: Is it expedient? Vanity asks: Is it popular? But conscience asks: Is it right?’” - Dexter Scott King
“Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.” - Ruth E. Renkel
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. - Author Unknown
It’s important to give our children a godly heritage:
Prov 14:26 He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.
TRAIN
Q: How long does it take for a people to forget God?
A: Just one generation
Judges 2:10 After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel.
Deut 4:9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
TRAIN
Psalm 44:1 We have heard with our ears, O God; our fathers have told us what you did in their days, in days long ago.
Psalm 78:4 We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.
5 He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, 6 so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. 7 Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.
TRAIN
Prov 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Train up a child in the way he should go - The Hebrew of this clause is curious: חנך לנער על פי דרכו chanoch lannaar al pi darco, “Initiate the child at the opening (the mouth) of his path.” When he comes to the opening of the way of life, being able to walk alone, and to choose; stop at this entrance, and begin a series of instructions, how he is to conduct himself in every step he takes. Show him the duties, the dangers, and the blessings of the path; give him directions how to perform the duties, how to escape the dangers, and how to secure the blessings, which all lie before him. 1
1 Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible
TRAIN
Fix these on his mind by daily inculcation, till their impression is become indelible; then lead him to practice by slow and almost imperceptible degrees, till each indelible impression becomes a strongly radicated habit. Beg incessantly the blessing of God on all this teaching and discipline; and then you have obeyed the injunction of the wisest of men. Nor is there any likelihood that such impressions shall ever be effaced, or that such habits shall ever be destroyed. 1
1 Ibid
TRAIN
The Hebrew word “chanac”, which we translate train up or initiate, signifies also dedicate; and is often used for the consecrating any thing, house, or person, to the service of God. Dedicate, therefore, in the first instance, your child to God; and nurse,
teach, and discipline him
as God’s child, whom he
has entrusted to your
care. These things
observed, and illustrated
by your own conduct, the
child (you have God’s word
for it) will never depart
from the path of life. 1
1 Ibid
TRAIN
Prov 23:22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Author unknown
Prov 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 9 They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” - Charles Wadsworth
TRAIN
Prov 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. 2 I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. 3 When I was a boy in my father’s house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, 4 he taught me and said, “Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. 6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.
7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. 8 Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. 9 She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor.
TRAIN
Prov 4:10 Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. 11 I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. 13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
Prov 4:20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole
body. 23 Above all else, guard your
heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your
mouth; keep corrupt talk far from
your lips. 25 Let your eyes look
straight ahead, fix your gaze
directly before you. 26 Make level
paths for your feet and take only
ways that are firm. 27 Do not
swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
TRAIN
The best way to teach your children is by providing a good example:
He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Budington Kelland (U.S. Writer)
“I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example.” - Mario Cuomo (Governor of the state of New York 1983-94)
ROLE MODEL
By profession, I am a soldier and take pride in that fact. But I am prouder – infinitely prouder – to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; the father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentiality of death; the other embodies creation and life. And while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions
of life are mightier still. It is my
hope that my son, when I am gone,
will remember me not from the
battle field but in the home
repeating with him our simple
daily prayer, ‘Our Father who art
in Heaven.’ - Douglas Macarthur
(1880-1964), American general
and field marshal of the Philippine
Army during WWII. )
ROLE MODEL
Heb 12:7 … For what son is not disciplined by his father?
8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it… 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best...
One of the qualifications of a
church overseers (elder) is:
1 Tim 3:4 He must manage his
own family well and see that
his children obey him with
proper respect. 5 (If anyone
does not know how to manage
his own family, how can he
take care of God’s church?)
DISCIPLINE
Prov 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. 14 Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
Prov 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
Discipline must be restorative and not punitive though:
Prov 3:12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
Col 3:1 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
DISCIPLINE
Prov 13:22 A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous.
Luke 15:11 Jesus continued:
“There was a man
who had two sons.
12 The younger one
said to his father,
‘Father, give me
my share of the
estate.’ So he
divided his
property between
them.”
INHERITANCE
The fifth commandment is, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (Ex 20:12)
Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown. - Author Unknown
There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
IS TO BE HONOURED
As human fathers we are fallible and sometimes fail in our duties:
Heb 12:10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best…
But despite their human fallibility, most fathers still try their best for their children:
Matt 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children...
HUMAN FALLIBILITY
Tom Wolfe writes in “The Bonfire of the Vanities”:
Sherman made the terrible discovery that
men make about their fathers sooner or
later... that the man before him was not an
aging father but a boy, a boy much like
himself, a boy who grew up and had a child
of his own and, as best he could, out of a
sense of duty and, perhaps love,
adopted a role called Being a Father
so that his child would have
something mythical and infinitely
important: a Protector, who would
keep a lid on all the chaotic and
catastrophic possibilities of life.
HUMAN FALLIBILITY
Just as we can be physical fathers, so we can be spiritual fathers to others. This is the kind of relationship Paul held with those in the churches he had founded:
1 Cor 4:14 I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children. 15 Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. 16 Therefore I urge you to imitate me. 17 For this reason I am sending to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.
SPIRITUAL FATHERS
OUR FATHER
IN HEAVEN
Jesus taught his disciples to pray and call God, “Our Father in heaven” (Matt 6:9).
The great English poet William Wordsworth wrote:
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.
2 Cor 6:18 “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
1 John 3:1 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
GOD IS OUR FATHER
As a Father, God loves us:
2 Thess 2:16 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us…
John 14:21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”
John 14:23 Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”
John 16:27 No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.
LOVE
Our heavenly Father has compassion on us:
Psalm 103:13 As a father
has compassion on his
children, so the LORD
has compassion on those
who fear him;
In the parable of the one
lost sheep Jesus said:
Matt 18:14 In the same
way your Father in
heaven is not willing that
any of these little ones
should be lost.
COMPASSION
In the parable of the Prodigal Son, we see the compassion and forgiveness of our heavenly Father:
Luke 15:20 “So he
got up and went to
his father. But
while he was still
a long way off, his
father saw him
and was filled with
compassion for
him; he ran to
his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
COMPASSION
He also encourages and strengthens as only a father can:
2 Thess 2:16 May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17 encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
Eph 3:14 For this reason I kneel before the Father,
15 from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
ENCOURAGES
Matt 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear… 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?... 28 And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin…
30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”
Matt 6:7 “And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
PROVIDE
Matt 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. 9 Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Matt 6:9 “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven… 11 Give us today our daily bread.’”
Matt 18:19 “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”
PROVIDE
Jesus taught that our heavenly Father rewards us:
Matt 6:4 “Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
He also gives us spiritual gifts:
Eph 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.
Acts 1:4 On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. 5 For John baptized with a water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”
GIFTS
Matt 10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Before his crucifixion, Jesus prayed, “I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name - the name you gave me - so that they may be one as we are one.” (John 17:11)
Rom 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”
PROTECT
Deut 1:29 Then I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. 30 The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.”
PROTECT
Matt 16:17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.”
The Father teaches us though the Holy Spirit:
John 14:26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
John 16:13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.
TRAIN
Like an earthly father, God disciplines His children.
Prov 3:11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
Matt 18:32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
DISCIPLINE
Heb 12:7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
DISCIPLINE
Eph 5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children...
Jesus tells us to imitate our Father in heaven:
Matt 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
ROLE MODEL
Jesus said the way we live – shows who our real father is:
John 8:38 I am telling you what I have seen in the Father’s presence, and you do what you have heard from your father.”
39 “Abraham is our father,” they answered.
“If you were Abraham’s children,” said Jesus, “then you would do the things Abraham did. 40 As it is, you are determined to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things.
41 You are doing the things your own father does.”
“We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”
42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me.”
ROLE MODEL
Our heavenly Father has given us an inheritance and made us his heirs:
Matt 25:34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
Luke 12:32 “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.
Rom 8:16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
INHERITANCE
Gal 4:6 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
Col 1:2 giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
Eph 1:17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
18 I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,
INHERITANCE
As we are commanded to honour our earthly fathers, Jesus taught us to honour our Father in heaven:
Matt 6:9 “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name...’”
1 Tim 1:17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
IS TO BE HONOURED
Many falsely claim God as their father, but have no relationship with him:
Matt 7:21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
John 8:41 …“We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.”
42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me.”
IS GOD THE FATHER OF ALL?
God is the Creator of all men, but not the Father of all.
However like a Father with a child, God wants to have a relationship with us:
1 John 1:3 We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.
Eph 1:17 I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.
RELATIONSHIP
Q: How can God become my Father?
A: We have to be born into His family.
John 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God - 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
John 3:3 In reply Jesus declared, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.”
RELATIONSHIP
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